Gosh, I Love My Kids...sillies and all!

Resemblance?

FYI: Mark's hair was untouched. I laughed and laughed when he stood in front of the television.

Marker Disaster

When I heard silence, I knew something was up.

CAUGHT!

Puppetmaster

Steph, you made me laugh with this! And I can't forget to mention Arianne who passed the idea along in the first place. How many of you had nightmares of spooky ventriloquist puppets as a child? I know I did -- especially after seeing Poltergeist!

I think my mom's college portrait shows off the same hairdo too!

"Falliss Mighty Ducks"

Matt's interpretation for "Feliz Navidad".

A Little Bit Country?

At first I was flattered to be compared to the likes of Carrie Underwood, but when Steve said his turned into Calista Flockhart, my flattery turned to skepticism.

Thanks, Steph, or should I say Kelly Clarkson?

Go to Adventures In Babywearing to participate!

"William Tell" Mom

Interpretation

"Where's Mark in our family, Matt?"

Matt replies, "Oh, I forgot about him. He's off the page playing with my stuff." (And maybe I need to change my profile's photo. Don'tcha love that stylish red dress on me? And how about Steve's Zac Efron-ish hairdo?)

"Your favorite sport is basketball?" Matt confirms like we should know this, "YEEAAAH!"

"And what is your favorite sport?" (We couldn't make heads or tails by looking at his drawing.) Matt replies, "Motorcycle racing!"

When did he start showing an interest in that?

Boys v. Girls

"So what did you do during recess today, Matt"

Matt answers under his breath, "Oh, you know. Boys chase girls." (Its apparent he's not too thrilled to admit this to his parents.)

I pick for more information and ask, "How do you play that?" I start reminiscing about being boy crazy myself when I was in grade school.

"Well, we start running away from all the girls," Matt explains, "and then they try to get us. We are always faster than them."

I respond, "Sounds interesting." Then I hear an evil laugh.....

"And if we get one we suck their brains out."

Now I don't remember that.

I'm Who? Or What?

Mark is a comedian. He teases. He knows just what to say to make me laugh. The other day he pointed at the following items and called each of them "mamma":

Steve is the ice cream man, Mark is the boy on the stool and, yes, I am the one wearing the bonnet with gray hair! If you look closely she is steaming milk for a latte. Wait, maybe that is me???

He calls all of these "mamma", but the one that really grabs his attention is the green Phillies mascot with that goofy horn for a nose.

And don't even ask me what this one is about, unless he is recalling my mean mom face. Is it that bad? With red, glowing eyes too? And if your child is a Star Wars buff, that is the Emperor!

And the Worst Winner Is.....

**ME**

Out of all the contests to win, I win this one. So the testimony of my bad perm lives on.....

Thanks to Petroville for such a fun, but sad to live through that again, contest! And all you frequent bloggers that visit here: HATS OFF TO YOU!

Also, my dear, sweet friend, Stephanie, gave me a big shout out. You know how many people visit her popular blog. I think that helped!

So I am anticipating my iTunes gift card, which I am not sure if I'll use for my benfit or search for Wiggles tunes that guarentee a quiet car ride with my boys.....also a benefit! Chicago Mom Blogs and My Two Boys are surprising me with something too. Anything to kill the sorrow from viewing that 2nd grade portrait again!

Your Vote Counts!

Please visit Petroville and vote for my worst school portrait ever. Can you guess which one I am? Well, those that have been with my blog for some time should know. For those that are new, I'll give you a hint: first and frizzy with a nice pair of light blue 80's glasses.

What was I thinking entering this contest?!?!?!

What Goes Around......

It was one of those days. The boys were bickering at one another. They asked for another snack for the third time and it wasn’t even noon yet. One complained of the other touching their stuff. The other complained about the other taking their toy away. Then they started complaining just to hear themselves complain. As this is happening you can see the joy on my face melting away to that mean-mom expression. Come on, moms, admit it! We’ve all exposed that face from time to time.

If my memories serve me right I don’t remember seeing my mom lose it and get all frazzled like that. Did I really drive my parents to the brick of craziness like my boys do to me? We weren’t that bad just as long as we kept the bickering to ourselves while goofing off in the basement. I mean when my parents said, “Stop it,” we did immediately. Right? My brothers and I always knew our place during travels to and from church. I always walked along side my mom during our time in a grocery store. We always came to the table the first time called for dinner. And it never took multiple times reminding us to shower, brush our teeth and go to bed over and over and over again.

So one day in the middle of my daily chaos I asked my mom, “Good grief, did we do this to you growing up?”

She replied, “You three drove me nuts!” (I think I caught a little mean-mom expression in her face as she recalled that time.)

Payback.

Grosser Than Gross

Stephanie is asking us to let some skeletons our of our closets and share a Grosser Than Gross story. As I thought about events in my past that have made my stomach turn, there are a couple that stand out among the rest.

Now, I can handle moldy foods or expired dairy. I don’t enjoy cleaning up my boys’ vomit, but hey, it comes with the territory, right? However, there is something that makes me do the willy dance every time. Here it goes (there are two separate stories with the same outcome):

The first episode was before we had kids. (I know -- amazing, huh?) We were living in our rented home at the time. We had an area in our breezeway that needed some decor, so I decided to take one of our house plants and sit in nicely in the empty corner. It worked so well that we left it there all of that summer.

As time passed we would walk through the breezeway and get a whiff of something foul. You know that smell. The smell that tells you, “Oh my, you are going to find something gross, but prefer not to even go there.”

Of course I wait for Steve to come home so he can investigate. I’m not about to fish around the area looking for a rotted thingy.

Steve starts to look. In the bushes. In the garage. Then he searched into the plant....

With his BARE hand he pulls out something. To this day we still don’t know what it actually was, but we assume some animal left their half-eaten dinner in that plant. He throws it on the ground – covered in maggots and Steve swears he saw some furr on it as well. I am getting itchy just thinking about it! And that smell -- BARF!

Fast forward last Tuesday evening. We always put soiled diapers in a grocery store's plastic bag before putting it in the trash can. (I’ve never been fond of diaper genie systems or any diaper pail for that matter.) I went to throw a poopy diaper in the garbage can that night. Opened the lid and you guessed it. All these maggots fell down on my feet!

I scream. Do the willy dance. Gain my composure. And spray the entire can inside and out with insect killer. (It didn't even work, so I left the scene.) Come to found out there was a hole on the side of the garbage can since the handle broke off. Thankfully garbage day was Wednesday and Steve did the honors of taking the can out. I tagged a note on top of it: “TAKE THIS CAN TOO!”

So there you have it. I do not do well with any form of maggots. On food or a dead animal or from a garbage can's lid. They are just disgusting. Give me a sedative and tell me when it’s over.

Read more Grosser Than Gross stories at Adventures In Babywearing and enter in to win a Dirt Devil Kone! And make sure you breathe in and out. No fainting allowed!

Just Outta Bed

Stephanie is asking us to bare all and reveal a no-makeup photo. I admit using the good ole "black/white" button, but the rest is au natural. Join in and you may win something special!

Lost and Unfortunately Found

As I was emptying our dishwasher today I recalled a moment in my life:

One day I went outside to clean out our van. I scanned every nook and cranny searching for gum wrappers or a stale cracker. And then I came across a sippy cup under the passenger’s seat. This is the same sippy cup I was scratching my head about wondering, “Where the heck did that go??” Let me further say that Matt was well over 4 and not using sippy cups anymore.

What was in that cup? Milk? Or, please God, water? Juice? Dare I open this sippy cup that has been camping in this van for probably a year or longer?

Curiosity got the better of me and I opened it.

I assumed white grape juice was the culprit. There was hardly anything left but a sugary powder on the sides. However, growing off the “valve” was this black, hard matter that resembled a stalagmite measuring a few inches. It wasn’t worth keeping this science experiment –- off in the trash it went.

Recalling this moment made me wonder what science experiments you’ve found as a mother. Some cheese left under a sofa? A half eaten sandwich hid under a table? Or a new unwanted pet? The winner will receive a year supply of sanity and a pat on the back!

A Nose of His Own!

We went to a car maintenance place to get the van's oil changed. How convenient is it that everyone stays in the vehicle while they work? HELLO! During our time there Matt exclaims, "Mom, it smells good in here!" I am not sure what he was thinking considering all I smelled was gasoline, engine oil and stale cigarette smoke. Did I miss something? Oh yeah, the wiff of Drakkar Noir when the guy asked the make/model of our van. Mixed that with everything else, well, you get the picture.

Then I spray a disinfectant cleaner in the bathroom. I get a repulsed comment like, "Ugh, Mom, what is that smell?" Puzzling.

Christmas Prayer

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased." Luke 2:14

We pray the peace of Jesus captivates your family's home and hearts. Blessings!

Christmas Carol Favorites

Beck hollered, "Tag, you're it!" She asked me to share my top 5 Christmas songs and then the top 5 I loathe to hear.....

Among the best:

• "O, Holy Night"
• "Silent Night"
• "Carol of the Bells"
• "12 Days of Christmas" JOHN DEVER with The Muppets VERSION!!
• Is it fair to say anything from Mannheim Steamroller, Harry Connick, Josh Groban or Nate King Cole???

Now those that cause me to turn the radio station:

• "I Wanna A Hippopotamus for Christmas" (obnoxious -- pull that bratty girl off stage!!!)
• "O, Christmas Tree" (Who wants to sing praises to a tree anyway???)
• "Santa, Baby" (Madonna's version sounds like nails on a chalkboard)
• "Dominick the Donkey" (Who likes to hear donkey yelps anyway???)
• "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" (What is this song is really about? You guess it...ADULTARY!! No thanks. Worse than that...the kid sees it. GROSS!)

Things that make me go "Uh?"

As I was driving back from grabbing a pizza from our local Pizza Hut (love their breadsticks by the way) I flipped through my preset radio stations. Could it be? Are you serious? Yes.......

NONSTOP CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!!

And that is CHRIST-mas music. Not holiday music. Not festive music. And please, not Santa’s music. I won’t elaborate on how ridiculous that subject is.

It isn’t even the week before Thanksgiving yet. Can you believe it? I said out loud, “Are you kidding me???”

On the subject of things that make me go, "Uh????", I was flipping through my local newspaper while waiting to pick up Matthew and saw this ad:

“Creating Smiles Dental Spa”

Yes, you heard that right: DENTAL SPA

As a former dental assistant I can throw out my opinion here. When did society thing “dental” and “spa” could be used in the same title? Has anyone experienced spa-like feelings at a dental appointment? You know what I experience working in the dental profession: fear, yelling, shaking, kicking, and biting. Let me also state that these reactions were not only from children!!!

Just some topics to cause your mind to crank too and ask, "What the heck?"