Remembering the Purpose

When I started this blog my life was faced with many challenges: At 7-months old Mark was on his 3+ ear infection and we also found out a simple cold virus easily throws him into a croup/asthma attack. Matt was bringing home every stomach flu known to man. Either he was licking his preschool's bathroom floor or that awful bug kept finding a way to creep back into our home. Then we were faced with my dad's esophageal cancer battle. It seemed everything was piling on top of each other.

In a few more months we then found out Steve needed his gall bladder out, my dad was recovering from his major esophagectomy surgery and Mark was in need of ear tubes. I felt on my own. Alone. I was caught between meeting my family's needs, my dad's needs and then my own needs. I was torn.

Remembering back when I was pregnant with Mark I had this idea having a second child would be a laid-back experience since I've "been there done that" with Matt. Everyone tells you that. However, life's circumstances threw me a curve ball and I found myself suffering from bouts of PPD and constant anxiety. I was so ashamed to admit these feelings to anyone. I felt that maybe I wasn't measuring up to most normal moms. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother and my boys are the most important treasures in my life, but all these attacks came against me and I was ready to give up. I needed support and for someone to tell me everything was going to be ok.

I knew I had to confide in close, trustworthy friends and most of all, Jesus had to heal my heart and mind. Thanks to people like Kristi, Stephanie and most of all, my mom, I was able admit my true heart, which was full of guilt and pain, and finally allow my spirit to be restored. Funny how in the midst of my roller coaster ride God taught me how I should value others and be there when they are in need. Isn't that just like our Father to do that? I wanted to make sure I was available when another person is faced with a crossroad. A battle. Or just a plain old cruddy day. No one really knows what happens behind close doors, so I decided to make myself available to others and bring a sense of hope.

At the end of this experience I found out most moms don't have it all together. Just when you think a mom is gliding through life with a smile on her face, you realize she has the same feelings you do. Those emotions of fear and worry. She is trying get through the day without breaking apart just like you. Why did I pass judgement on these women and think they were so much better than me? I couldn't answer that then, but now I think part of it was feeling sorry for myself and the other was just being too weary to even think positively anymore.

So when I entitled this blog Glass Half Full, I wanted moms to realize that life has its ups and downs. We all go through valleys and trials. We all have moments of joy and contentment. We need to be honest with each other. Support one another by being real and not hiding our emotions when life decides to shake us up a bit. And most of all to know that through it all, God is there every step of the way to lead and guide us. All we have to do is take His hand.

(To this day my dad is still cancer free!!!)