7.20.2007

Grosser Than Gross

Stephanie is asking us to let some skeletons our of our closets and share a Grosser Than Gross story. As I thought about events in my past that have made my stomach turn, there are a couple that stand out among the rest.

Now, I can handle moldy foods or expired dairy. I don’t enjoy cleaning up my boys’ vomit, but hey, it comes with the territory, right? However, there is something that makes me do the willy dance every time. Here it goes (there are two separate stories with the same outcome):

The first episode was before we had kids. (I know -- amazing, huh?) We were living in our rented home at the time. We had an area in our breezeway that needed some decor, so I decided to take one of our house plants and sit in nicely in the empty corner. It worked so well that we left it there all of that summer.

As time passed we would walk through the breezeway and get a whiff of something foul. You know that smell. The smell that tells you, “Oh my, you are going to find something gross, but prefer not to even go there.”

Of course I wait for Steve to come home so he can investigate. I’m not about to fish around the area looking for a rotted thingy.

Steve starts to look. In the bushes. In the garage. Then he searched into the plant....

With his BARE hand he pulls out something. To this day we still don’t know what it actually was, but we assume some animal left their half-eaten dinner in that plant. He throws it on the ground – covered in maggots and Steve swears he saw some furr on it as well. I am getting itchy just thinking about it! And that smell -- BARF!

Fast forward last Tuesday evening. We always put soiled diapers in a grocery store's plastic bag before putting it in the trash can. (I’ve never been fond of diaper genie systems or any diaper pail for that matter.) I went to throw a poopy diaper in the garbage can that night. Opened the lid and you guessed it. All these maggots fell down on my feet!

I scream. Do the willy dance. Gain my composure. And spray the entire can inside and out with insect killer. (It didn't even work, so I left the scene.) Come to found out there was a hole on the side of the garbage can since the handle broke off. Thankfully garbage day was Wednesday and Steve did the honors of taking the can out. I tagged a note on top of it: “TAKE THIS CAN TOO!”

So there you have it. I do not do well with any form of maggots. On food or a dead animal or from a garbage can's lid. They are just disgusting. Give me a sedative and tell me when it’s over.

Read more Grosser Than Gross stories at Adventures In Babywearing and enter in to win a Dirt Devil Kone! And make sure you breathe in and out. No fainting allowed!