Funny Birth Announcement

During my free time this Sunday afternoon, I came across this in Baby Talk Magazine by Melissa Balmain (June/July 2006). Enjoy the laughs and maybe some unwanted memories:

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
(and a mom!)
BORN: Jordan McDermott Adams
GAVE BIRTH: Karen McDermott Adams
DATE: March 3, 2006 (Yes, it took Karen months to get around to ordering announcements. So sue her.)
WEIGHT: The baby is 7lbs 12oz. As for mom, let's see: She's eating 500 extra calories a day for breastfeeding, plus half a pound of chocolate to stay awake, plus all the lasagna her friends can cook. You do the math!
EYES: Baby's blue/Mom's bloodshot
HAIR: Baby's brown/Mom's unwashed since last Tuesday and falling out by the handful.
LENGTH: Practically forever -- at least 26 hours of labor, plus 3 hours of pushing. And that's not counting those eight visits to the hospital the week before, when Karen thought she was in labor but it was really Braxton Hicks; or the half hour after the baby came out, when her OB kept doing things "down there" that are best not thought about...
OH, and the baby was 21 inches!
SEX: Never again!!